As its a new year I have made a vow to become more more interesting. To accomplish this I have decided to sprout useless information, self publicize, and rant my way through 2013. Though I fear this trinity will in fact confirm my worst fears, that I am duller than Ann Widdecombe sex life. Which in hindsight is unfair to Ann I don't know her personally, and should refrain from making such disparaging comments, but as mentioned before my laziness knows no bounds, and my illogical nature dictates that I do not delete said comment.
Recently I have taken up writing in the fleeting hope that I can muster something entertaining and here comes the big word - original. Its painstaking. Though after getting some concepts down and after a painful struggle some words, the whole project has convinced me that I am in fact a genius and will shortly be sought after by the most prestigious publishing houses. Ahem - fat chance.
Provided here though is the opening paragraph to what will surely be a future Man Booker winner.
"He had enjoyed a flutter, ever since he was young. He’d never had much money to speak of but for
some reason, as soon as the money came in, be it from legitimate or
illegitimate means there he would be, it fuelled him, gave him vitality, it
could also cripple him, but he needed that too, losing was part of the product
an integral part of the bargain he struck on an almost daily basis. He wasn't educated per se; he had attended
school for as long as he could stand it, and left with the minimum his
potential afforded him, an achievement that still fell short of the government
targets, though such targets are subject to change as they so often do, just like
odds. He never felt disadvantaged by
that though. But then he never had any
great dreams, stricken by the poverty of ambition perhaps, but not of
opportunity, or ability."
I have printed the material and being a former law student retain all copyright of this literature, any attempt to infringe it will be considered as a breach of my copyright and also a massive complement and or sign of mental instability as anybody that did try to pass this off as their own work must be either desperate or seeking to join my cult.
More to come...in the words of Team America...I PROMISE.
2 comments:
Love it!
Can honestly I didn't get bored half way through :P
To be honest I found it highly entertaining when you had your little rants at uni. So If i get to read them here as well.. I'll be happy.
You are most entertaining Sean.
Although, the main thought I am pondering after reading your post is "what is Ann Widdecombe's sex life like?"
I guess we'll never know
By my knowledge (which I might add is not carnal,) she is single, and is a practicing Roman Catholic. My sources inform me she has not been and is not a member of a young male church choir, and therefore is most likely a virgin. Though Harry from One Direction is rumored to have had a go,during the screening of an exceptionally raunchy Songs of Praise.
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